I know this might sound a bit radical, but what if your nagging sense of doubt, your creeping self-doubt, isn’t actually impostor syndrome?
What if it’s something else entirely?
What if it’s a sign that you’ve been living out of alignment with who you really are?
I’ve always been a bit of a rebel. When I was a teenager, I wanted to be a pirate. Yup, I said what I said. I didn’t want a nine-to-five. I didn’t want a desk job. I wanted to travel the world, feel the salt on my skin, and wake up every day with a sense of freedom. I didn’t want to take over the family business or climb a predictable corporate ladder. I wanted to carve my own path, to live a life full of adventure, to be free.
That’s why I chose to study navigation and hydrography. It made no sense to anyone around me. My friends and family thought I was ruining my prospects, throwing away a promising future to chase some salty, windblown fantasy. But it felt right. It felt like me.
And it was one of the best decisions of my life.
I loved my studies. I loved the ocean. I loved the idea of a life that didn’t fit neatly into a box. I wanted to be the kind of person who could just pack a bag and go, whose career didn’t come with a suit or a fixed address. And for a while, I lived that life. I worked in the Netherlands, Canada, New Zealand. I moved when I felt like it. I quit when I wanted to. I had no mortgage, no commitments, no strings. I was free.
But then, slowly, things started to change.
I’m not sure exactly when it happened. Maybe it was the first time I hesitated before quitting a job because I worried about my career trajectory. Maybe it was when I bought a house, took on a mortgage, and suddenly had “responsibilities.” Maybe it was when we got our cats, my babies, and I felt my heart settle into a place I wanted to call home.
Whatever it was, that feeling of freedom I once had – the one that let me walk away from anything that didn’t feel right – started to fade. I found myself making compromises, second-guessing my choices, wondering if I was doing the “right” thing by staying in a stable job, building a traditional career, following the beaten path.
And that’s when the doubt started to creep in.
Step 1: Know Thyself – Values as a Compass
I wish someone had told me this earlier – your values aren’t just abstract ideas. They’re the blueprint for who you are. They’re the things you can’t compromise without losing yourself in the process.
If you’re feeling like an impostor, if you’re doubting yourself, if you’re constantly questioning your choices, it might not be because you’re not good enough. It might be because you’ve been ignoring those values.
When I chose to study navigation, it wasn’t because I thought it was a guaranteed path to success. It was because it felt right. It aligned with my desire for freedom, adventure, and independence. It made sense to me, even if it didn’t make sense to anyone else.
And that’s the thing about values – they don’t have to make sense to anyone else. They’re yours. And when you stray too far from them, you lose that sense of alignment. You start to feel lost, disconnected, and yes, like an impostor.
A Quick Exercise:
If you’re not sure what your core values are, try this:
- When was the last time you felt genuinely proud of something you did (at work)? What was it, and why did it matter to you?
- What qualities do you admire most in others, and why?
- What makes you lose track of time? What lights you up, even when no one’s watching?
- What would you stand up for, even if it meant standing alone?
Write these down. Because until you know what you stand for, it’s hard to know when you’re compromising.
Step 2: Misalignment – The Quiet Erosion of Self
Once you have a clearer sense of what you actually care about, it becomes easier to spot the disconnects.
This is where that so-called impostor syndrome often creeps in.
It’s not that you don’t belong in the room because you’re not good enough. It’s that the room doesn’t reflect your values, and deep down, you know it.
When you’re spending your days propping up a system you don’t believe in, pushing products you wouldn’t buy, or supporting leaders you don’t respect, it takes a toll.
It’s a slow erosion of self.
When you ignore your values, when you bury them, when you silence them just to fit in or keep the peace, you end up feeling disconnected, frustrated, and yes, even like an impostor.
Step 3: Burnout – When the Soul Catches Up with the Body
And if you ignore that disconnection long enough, it starts to show up in other ways.
You get tired, not just physically, but emotionally and mentally. You dread Mondays. You lose your spark. Your creativity dries up. Your confidence withers.
Because the body keeps score.
Stress isn’t just about long hours and tight deadlines. It’s about constantly betraying your own principles. It’s about the slow, grinding realisation that you’re not who you said you’d be when you started this career.
And that’s when burnout hits. Not because you worked too hard, but because you worked too hard on the wrong things.
Step 4: Reclaiming Your Integrity
If you’ve realised you’re out of alignment, this isn’t a moment for despair. It’s a wake-up call. It’s a chance to pivot, to reclaim the version of yourself you might have silenced or set aside to fit in. Here’s how:
Reconnect with Your Core Values
Before you can align your work with your values, you need to be crystal clear on what those values are. This might sound obvious, but many of us go decades without truly examining what matters to us. We absorb other people’s values by osmosis – parents, teachers, bosses, even our peer groups – without stopping to ask if they actually resonate.
Try this:
- Write Your Manifesto: If you had to distil what you stand for into a single page, what would it say? What do you believe in? What are your non-negotiables? What kind of impact do you want to have on the world?
- Identify Your Deal-Breakers: Think back to the moments in your career when you felt most out of place. What was happening? What was being asked of you? What crossed a line you didn’t even realise you had?
- Find Your Compass Moments: When have you felt most aligned, most alive, most “you”? What were you doing? Who were you with? What kind of work were you engaged in?
Challenge the Narrative
Once you know what you stand for, it’s time to challenge the narrative that’s kept you stuck.
- Ditch the Survival Mode Mindset: If you’ve been in a misaligned job for a while, you’ve probably internalised some unhelpful stories. Things like, “You need to pay your dues,” or “This is just how the world works,” or my personal favourite, “You’re lucky to have a job at all.” Challenge these. They’re not truths; they’re just habits of thought.
- Reframe Your Worth: Your value isn’t just in what you can produce, your outputs, your KPIs. It’s in the way you make others feel, the ideas you bring, the compassion you offer, the principles you stand for.
Create Your Exit Plan (Yes, Really)
Leaving a misaligned environment isn’t something you have to do overnight, but it is something you should at least consider and need to plan for. Here’s a rough guide:
- Financial Safety Net: Start setting aside money to buy yourself some time when you make your move or at least unshackle yourself from the reliance on the job. Even a small cushion can make a big psychological difference.
- Expand Your Network: Start building relationships with people who share your values. This doesn’t just mean “networking” in the LinkedIn sense – it means finding your people. The ones who believe in the same things you do.
- Skill Audit: Are there skills you need to develop to make a move? Courses you should take? People you should talk to? Start laying the groundwork now.
- Portfolio of Evidence: Document your wins, your projects, your impact. You want to have a portfolio that reflects the full spectrum of your abilities, not just your current job title.
- Build a Side Project: If you’re not ready to leap just yet, start something on the side. A blog, a small business, a community group. Something that lights you up and gives you a taste of what it’s like to work in alignment.
- Experiment and Iterate: You don’t have to have a perfect five-year plan. Just start trying things. Talk to people in different industries. Shadow someone. Take a course. Volunteer. Get your hands dirty.
Find Work That Aligns With Your Values
When you do start looking for a new role, be intentional. Don’t just look for a paycheck. Look for a fit.
- Research the Company Culture: Check their Glassdoor reviews, read their mission statements, look at how they respond to crises.
- Interview Them Too: When you get to the interview stage, ask the hard questions. How do they support their people? How do they handle conflict? What happens when someone speaks up with a dissenting opinion?
- Red Flags: Watch out for vague answers, high turnover, and an obsession with “culture fit” that sounds more like conformity than collaboration.
Surround Yourself with People Who Get It
It’s hard to do this alone. You will doubt yourself, and if you’re surrounded by the nay-sayers, you’ll need a lot of willpower to keep going. Find people who are building, not just surviving. The ones who light you up, who see your potential, who challenge you to be better.
- Join Communities: Whether it’s online forums, local meetups, or professional associations, find your tribe.
- Seek Out Mentors: Not just people in high places, but people with integrity, people who have walked this path and can offer guidance.
- Stay Connected: Don’t ghost your current network. Just because you’re moving on doesn’t mean you have to burn bridges. You never know where those connections might lead.
Stay True, Even When It’s Hard
It’s easy to stand by your values when things are going well. It’s a lot harder when you’re scared, tired, and doubting yourself. But that’s exactly when it matters most.
- Daily Check-Ins: Are you living in alignment with your values today? What choices are you making that honour (or betray) your principles?
- Course Correct Quickly: Don’t wait until you’re on the brink of burnout to make a change. Trust your gut. If something feels off, act on it sooner rather than later.
- Celebrate Small Wins: The road to alignment isn’t always dramatic. Sometimes it’s in the small decisions, the tiny rebellions, the quiet “no” that keeps you on course.
Step 6: Give Yourself Permission to Reinvent Yourself
Finally, remember that you don’t have to be the person you were when you took this job. You don’t owe your younger self an explanation for why you’ve changed your mind. It’s OK to outgrow roles, industries, even entire careers.
You get to evolve. You get to redefine success. You get to take back your integrity.
Further Reading and Resources:
Designing Your Life by Bill Burnett and Dave Evans – a practical guide to creating a meaningful career.
The Art of Possibility by Rosamund Stone Zander and Benjamin Zander – a powerful book on redefining what’s possible for yourself.
Dare to Lead by Brené Brown – for those who want to lead differently.
Atomic Habits by James Clear – for those looking to make small, meaningful changes over time.
Ikigai: The Japanese Secret to a Long and Happy Life by Hector Garcia and Francesc Miralles – for finding your sense of purpose.
Ika’s Inklings 