You don’t forget the people who saw something in you before you saw it yourself.
The ones who took a chance. Who gave you a role you didn’t think you were qualified for. Who trusted you enough to let you rise. And who did it not because it was the strategic thing to do, but because it was the right thing to do.

I’ve written a lot lately about what’s broken in leadership. About the egos and the power games. The missed opportunities and the slow, soul-eroding drip of working for someone who doesn’t really see you.
(You can read Not All That Fails Deserved To Succeed.)

But this one’s different.

This one is for the bosses who got it right.

How I became a Project Manager – an opportunity that became a turning point

I was working offshore at the time – field role, long shifts, high pressure. I’d joined the industry with solid experience in another field, but I was new to this environment. When I spoke to the training manager about my ambitions, I was told I’d need to “do my time” – maybe 3 to 5 years before I’d become a senior, and then another 3 to 5 before I’d be trusted with project management.

Ten years to start managing projects I was already helping to deliver.

I didn’t see myself doing it. So I went to my boss and, as honestly as I could, told him I wasn’t enjoying it. That I was thinking of leaving.

He didn’t panic. He didn’t try to persuade me to stay. He just said: “Would you be interested in covering a maternity leave in the project management team?”

I laughed. Or panicked. Or both. Me? Project management? Already? I haven’t even worked offshore for that long. I’d be managing teams I was just part of. Surely I’m not ready?

But he said something I’ll never forget:
“You’ll probably leave anyway if we don’t challenge you. Why not try? We’d rather give you a shot than lose you entirely.”

Fake it till you make it. With full backing.
And that was it. I moved departments, became an assistant PM – except I wasn’t assisting anyone. I was running my own projects. And within three months, I was promoted. Properly. Officially. Not “acting”. Not “proving myself”.

That one chance changed my trajectory.

The leader who knew your pet’s name

That same boss – I’ve rarely seen anyone like him. He had hundreds of people reporting into him, and somehow remembered everyone’s story. Their partners’ names. Their holiday plans. Their frustrations. The things that made them light up.

He didn’t pretend to be your friend. He wasn’t performative. He just paid attention. And when someone pays attention to you like that, you want to do good work. You want to show up.

It wasn’t just about me. He built trust at scale.

Then came the next one…

When I transitioned into project management, my next manager also took a risk on me. I didn’t have all the qualifications and I hadn’t been in the company long. But he trusted the recommendation, and when I asked him a year later why he gave me that chance, he said: “It was a sink or swim situation. And you swam.”

Simple as that.

When things got tough a few years later – redundancies, budget cuts, all of it – he didn’t tell me to be grateful I still had a job. He advocated for me. He supported my move to another business unit in another country. A sideways move on paper, but one that gave me growth and exposure. He gained nothing from it. But he still made it happen.

Everyone thinks they’re a good manger

I’ve worked with some not-so-great managers too. The ones who hoard opportunities, who get threatened when you shine too bright, who say, “prove yourself first” – but never clarify what that proof needs to look like.

Then there are those who think they are doing the right thing, but really are just trying to look good. The ones who give you responsibility but no authority. Who call it “stretch” but never back it up with pay, title, or support. Who act like believing in people is some kind of favour.

Look, it’s easy to pat yourself on the back for offering someone the chance to shadow you in a meeting. Or cover for you while you’re away. Or sit in the back of the room while the senior leaders talk strategy.

And yes – those things have value.
But that’s not the same as advocating for someone.
That’s not the same as giving someone your seat at the table.

If you see someone quietly – but confidently – rising behind you, don’t just offer them scraps of visibility.
Give them the mic. Give them the project. Give them the trust you wished someone had given you.

That might mean putting someone forward for an opportunity you secretly wanted for yourself.
That might mean they do better than you would have.
And if that makes you uncomfortable – good. That’s where your growth is too.

Because real leadership isn’t built on hoarding power. It’s built on distributing it – intentionally, bravely, generously.

If you’re only ever lifting the safe, the quiet, the people who reflect well on you…
Then it’s not about them at all, is it? Are you creating opportunities… or just maintaining optics?

I don’t play that game. And I don’t think anyone should.

Because what I’ve learned, what I now practise as a leader, is this:

People will rise to meet the trust you place in them.
And if they don’t, you figure it out together. But more often than not, they do. They eventually always do.

Why it matters

These leaders – the good ones – they didn’t just change my career. They changed how I saw myself. They showed me that leadership isn’t about being the smartest or the most experienced. It’s about seeing people. Betting on potential. Creating space for others to rise.

They made me want to do the same for others.

And when I look back on the proudest moments in my career, they’re not my own promotions. They’re the people I advocated for. The ones I pushed forward, even when they doubted themselves. The team members who didn’t believe they were ready, but said yes anyway – and soared.

That’s what leadership is for me.

Not building a little empire of high performers to make yourself look good. Not keeping people small because you’re afraid of losing them.
But investing in others. Letting them grow beyond you. Knowing that their success doesn’t diminish yours.

That’s the legacy worth having.

How to Lead Like Someone Who Changes Lives

If you’re lucky enough to be in a position of influence, don’t underestimate the impact you can have. There are people out there who are brilliant and capable, but hesitant. Or overlooked. Or dismissed because they don’t “look the part” or didn’t take the linear path.

You have a chance to shift that.

You don’t need to be a CEO to lead like the kind of person who changed your life. You just need to be willing to make someone else’s path a little easier than yours was.

Here’s how:

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1. Be Generous with Trust

Don’t wait for people to “prove themselves” over and over. If someone’s showing initiative, drive, or just potential – meet them there with trust. People rise to the occasion when they feel seen. Especially when they don’t yet see themselves the way you do.

2. Give Opportunities, Not Just Advice

Mentoring is valuable. But mentorship paired with action is transformative. Can you delegate a meaningful task? Recommend someone for a stretch assignment? Nominate them for something they didn’t think they were ready for? That’s what changes careers.

We love to tell people what to do to grow – take more initiative, be more confident, speak up more. But growth doesn’t happen in a vacuum. It happens when someone opens a door.

Don’t just say, “You’d be great at X.” Offer X.

3. Invest in Their Future, Not Your Comfort

Yes, it might be inconvenient to let someone shadow you, to teach, to advocate, or to step back so someone else can step forward. But real leadership isn’t convenient. It’s not about protecting your position – it’s about cultivating future ones.

The Real Work of Leadership Starts Here:

It’s easy to call yourself a good leader. Much harder to be one.

Especially when being a good leader doesn’t come with applause.
When it means lifting someone else higher than you.
When it means putting your ego aside and asking: what’s best for them?

Not: what’s easiest for me.
Not: what makes me look generous.
But: what actually unlocks this person’s potential – even if it costs me something.

We romanticise leadership like it’s about titles and grand strategies.
But in reality, it’s built in the quiet, uncomfortable moments where you choose integrity over image.

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Resources to Deepen Your Leadership

• Book: The Art of Possibility by Rosamund Stone Zander and Benjamin Zander – a beautiful exploration of leading through empowerment and generosity.
• Podcast Episode: Dare to Lead with Brené Brown – “Armored vs. Daring Leadership”
• Watch: Simon Sinek’s TED Talk – “Why Good Leaders Make You Feel Safe”
• Journal Prompt: Who is someone you’ve mentored, supported, or advocated for this year? How did you do it – and what more could you do if you stopped playing safe?

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Final Thought

The best leaders I’ve ever had took a risk on me. They could’ve waited until I was “ready.” Until I’d ticked more boxes. But they didn’t. And because they didn’t, I swam.

You could be that person for someone else.

So ask yourself – what legacy are you leaving behind? Is it one of safety and control? Or one of expansion, belief, and wild, generous trust?

The world doesn’t need more managers. It needs more leaders who build people.
Be one of them.